You’re asking questions. You’re open to ideas. You say you want feedback.
So why does it feel like people are holding back?
If you’re noticing that your team doesn’t contribute freely - if they hesitate to share half-formed ideas, challenge each other (or you), or admit when something’s not working - it’s not a talent issue. It’s a safety issue.
And most leaders don’t see it until it’s costing them trust, innovation, and performance.
Before you reach for another engagement strategy, take a pause and ask yourself the real question: What signals am I sending (on purpose or not) that make it easier to stay quiet than to speak up?
Below are 10 uncomfortable but necessary questions that might tell you what’s really going on.
It might feel like you’re just keeping things moving, clarifying, or helping someone land their point. But if you regularly jump in (even with good intentions) you might be training people to defer instead of contribute. You may be sending a subtle, unintentional message: your voice doesn’t matter as much as mine. Pay attention - who talks less after you talk?
If your team only hears “What do you think?” in moments of stress, they learn to associate feedback with problems. That creates caution, not contribution. When’s the last time you asked for input just to explore, not to fix?
You may say you want dissent, but what happens after someone challenges you? Do they feel safe? Or do they feel dismissed? Do they second-guess themselves for days? When you ask for dissent, does it seem like people tiptoe around their answer? Do they preface disagreements with six caveats? Do they try to read your mood before speaking up? You might not mean to be intimidating, but power dynamics are real.
If your culture celebrates being the “smartest” in the room, don’t be surprised when people stop bringing rough ideas. Innovation dies in perfectionist cultures. Model thinking out loud and create safe spaces for thinking together as a team.
Saying “it’s okay to fail” doesn’t count if you never show your own missteps. Safety starts with modeling - not messaging. Share your own uncertainties and mistakes. If vulnerability is rare or feels staged, your team won’t believe it’s truly safe to be human.
When the same three people dominate every discussion, it’s not a coincidence. It’s a signal to others to stay quiet. Facilitation is a leadership skill. Use phrases like, “Thanks for your contribution. I would like to hear from others around the table.” Or incorporate talking to a partner before sharing out whole group so everyone gets a chance to surface ideas in a less intimidating setting.
If people get praised for going along but not for challenging the process, you’ve built a “yes” culture. And that’s not a safe place to think out loud. Phrases like, “Great question, what do people think?” or “Thank you for asking that, let’s talk about it,” are quick ways to start rewarding curiosity.
Avoiding tough talks might feel easier, but it comes at a steep cost. When leaders shy away from healthy conflict, teams stop wrestling with real issues and innovation stalls. True collaboration requires brave conversations where trust is built through honest, sometimes uncomfortable, dialogue. Ask yourself: Are you creating space for those conversations or unintentionally burying them?
If everyone knows what you want, they won’t tell you what they really think. If you really want to hear ideas from your team, be sure to speak last or not at all!
Asking “how’s everyone doing?” before diving into the agenda doesn’t count. Real check-ins invite emotional honesty, not forced positivity.
This isn’t about shame. It’s about self-awareness. Psychological safety doesn’t get built by accident; it gets built by design. And it starts with leaders who are brave enough to look inward before asking others to speak up.
You can’t change what you don’t see and what you won’t own.
And you don’t have to change all at once. Pick one area you think might create the biggest shift for your team and experiment with it this week!
Want to Keep Digging?
Learn more about how our clients use the Fearless Organization Scan to see what’s really going on beneath the surface.