Leadership Lessons: Helping Without Being a Know-It-All

So, I finally retired, and now I'm home a lot!

It's a wild change from traveling six days a month for the past eight years. My partner and I had our household duties down to a well-oiled machine—until I decided to play superhero and tackle a load of laundry without checking in first. Spoiler alert: it did not go as planned!

Helping: Part 1

Picture this: I burst into the laundry room, my hero cape flapping, and toss a bunch of clothes into the washer, feeling like a boss helper! But little did I know, there was a master plan for what should’ve gone into that load. Instead of cheers and high-fives, my partner was not amused. 

Cue the awkward silence, followed by a slightly candid discussion. I was hurt, falling into victim mode with a dramatic, “Don’t you see I’m just trying to help?”


The experience taught me a valuable lesson: Effective communication is a game-changer.

After a heart-to-heart, we agreed on a new strategy for managing our chores. By opening up the dialogue, we avoided a potential disaster! This lesson is not about laundry; it's about the power of communication in helping others.

Now, let’s zoom out to the bigger picture. As a leader, this lesson hit me like a plot twist in my favorite superhero movie. You want to support your team and show them you have their backs, right? But swooping in with unsolicited solutions can sometimes do more harm than good. You miss the mark and create a mess.

Reflection:

  • How do you typically approach helping others when they come to you for support?
  • Can you think of a time when your approach didn't work as expected? What did you learn from that experience?
  • In what areas do you feel you could further develop to enhance your support and communication skills?

 

Helping: Part 2

As you lead, it’s important to consider how you offer help. Are you quick to swoop in and fix things, or wait until you fully understand the situation and empower others?

Do people feel they can share concerns or ideas without fear of being shut down or blamed? Do they feel safe to ask for help? Are you tired of people hesitating to try new things?


Helping without being a Know-It-All Superhero.

You can start by no longer assuming you know what they need. The next time you feel the urge to jump in with a solution, consider your communication approach instead. Create a safe space for your team members to share questions, ideas and needs.

Jump in as a learner - ask questions and then listen to understand.

Once you understand their needs, empower them to take the lead, and ask how you can support them rather than taking over.

Your ability to leverage communication while supporting others is a key strategy to helping more effectively. You can foster a supportive and innovative atmosphere by seeking to understand and then offering support while not fixing their problems.

So, hang up your cape of assumptions and put on the hat of communication. Your team will thank you, and together, you’ll soar to new heights of success.

Reflection:

  • Embrace a learner mindset.
    • What else might be going on here? What might they need to understand to solve their problem?
    • What questions can I ask that would offer me insight?

  • Discover needs and spark ideas by asking thoughtful questions.
    • I am interested in hearing your perspective on this.
    • Let’s talk about the challenges you are facing.
    • What would you like to try? How can I support you?

“The answers are all out there; we just need to ask the right questions."

 

- Oscar Wilde