"I don't understand it," he said. "Every change feels difficult. Every conversation turns into a concern."
A few days later, I had an opportunity to talk with the teacher. Interestingly, her story sounded very different.
"I feel like decisions are already made before we talk about them," she said. "Sometimes I wonder if my experience even matters."
Neither person was trying to create conflict. Neither person was intentionally dismissing the other. Yet both had become convinced they understood the situation.
As I listened, I noticed something. The principal was viewing the situation through the lens of responsibility. He was carrying the pressure of deadlines and student outcomes. The teacher was viewing the situation through the lens of influence. She wanted her experience, concerns, and ideas to matter.
That conversation reminded me how often leadership challenges are really perspective challenges.
When we get stuck, we tend to ask, "Who is right? Maybe a better question might be, "What am I unable to see from where I sit?
The moment each of us becomes curious about the other's experience, the conversation changes. Not because we agree, but because each of us begins to understand.
💫 Thought Spark 💫
Perspective-taking doesn't require agreement. It requires curiosity.
One of my favorite coaching questions is: "What else might be going on?”
When you feel frustrated with someone this week, pause and sit with that question before responding.
Think about a relationship that feels stuck right now. What story are you telling? And what part of the story might only be visible from the other side?