“I think I’m failing.”
One afternoon, a teacher pulled me aside, completely worn down. She started venting: students were zoning out, her to-do list was endless, and her team? Not exactly bringing the pom-poms.
My instinct? Jump in with a quick fix: “Want to try a new approach?”
But something in me said, Stop being the hero. Just listen.
I took a deep breath and said, “Wow, that sounds really heavy. What do you feel you need most right now?”
Her tears started flowing. She confessed she felt like she was failing her students and just wanted to quit.
We spent the next 30 minutes chatting about the hurdles she faced, her dreams for her class, and brainstorming. She left with a plan that felt truly hers, and more importantly, she felt seen.
As leaders, we’re wired to fix, to solve the crisis, and offer advice. To save the day.
But sometimes, our drive to help just shuts down the space people need to process. To feel safe. To think. To trust themselves.
📌 Thought Spark:
Leadership isn’t always action. Avoid rushing to solve or evaluate. Use deep breathing, reflective listening, and clarifying responses like, “Tell me more about that.”
Strategies for Holding Space
Instead of offering a strategy, ask, “What do you feel you need most right now?” or “What’s the real challenge here for you?”
Let silence linger. Use reflective listening and responses like: “Tell me more about that…” or “That sounds like a lot. I hear you.”
Your Turn:
Think back to a recent moment when someone came to you in struggle. Did you rush to help or hold space for reflection? What would change if your staff knew they had permission to think out loud, cry, or dream in your presence?