At yesterday’s team meeting, you were excited to propose a new idea and hear everyone’s feedback. After explaining the idea, you asked the golden question: “What feedback do you have?” And then…crickets. Complete silence. Someone finally spoke up with a “sounds good to me,” and everyone else nodded in agreement. You left the meeting frustrated, thinking: “No one on this team even cares! I always ask for their feedback, and no one ever says anything.”
Silence in these moments is frustrating. But for leaders, it is so much more than that: it's deadly. When people stay silent at the wrong times, known roadblocks get missed, game-changing ideas never emerge, and talented people disengage. That’s expensive stuff.
There are a lot of possible reasons why no one is speaking up. Some are easy, like:
Being the first person to break the silence is scary, especially if you disagree.
Everyone is waiting for the one person who usually does all the talking in the meeting to be the one to say something.
You have a team of introverts who tend to stay quiet.
Some people on your team need more processing time before they are willing to comment.
What if we took a more difficult path of inquiry here and got curious about how you may be unknowingly or unintentionally creating the very dynamic you don’t want.
Think of a few times in the recent past when someone on your team did give you feedback. What were your words, actions, and body language in those moments? Did you say something that might have been interpreted as insincere, like “Sure, maybe we can try that next time”? Did you do something that might have signaled disinterest, like looking at your phone in the middle of their feedback? Did you respond with a hint of defensiveness or irritation in your tone or body language?
In team meetings where you’ve presented new ideas and received silence in return, how were those new ideas presented? Did you talk about how incredible you think the idea is or how much time and effort you have already put into it, so much so that no one wants to hurt your feelings if they disagree? Did you take up so much time explaining the idea that by the time you asked for feedback, everyone assumed you wanted silent agreement?
What have you done next when you’ve asked for feedback and gotten silence or “head nods” in return? Have you accidentally rewarded the silence with a comment like “Great! I’m so glad we are all in agreement here,” or “If there’s no feedback, let’s wrap this meeting up 10 minutes early”?
As painful as this truth is, perhaps you have unintentionally “trained” people to stay silent.
Creating a culture where silence isn’t the default may not be easy, but it matters a lot. It's the gateway for learning, collaboration, innovative ideas, and true employee engagement. If everyone in your meetings engaged in meaningful dialogue consistently, what would the impact be for you? How about the impact on your team, organization, and mission?
To get your team talking, here are a few quick strategies you can try at your next meeting:
Ask "juicier" questions.
Structure your meetings for dialogue. Provide time for thinking and encourage healthy dialogue:
Silence in meetings isn’t just frustrating, it’s a costly missed opportunity. It signals that innovation is stifled, progress is hindered, and your team is disengaged. Experiment with these strategies in your next meeting and see what’s possible when the room gets loud!