Blog | Thought Design

When a Mistake Becomes a Moment to Coach | Empowered Educator

Written by Cathy Henkenberns | May 20, 2026 12:00:00 PM

 

It started with a mistake. A student had violated a rule, and my initial instinct was to jump straight into “fix-it” mode: phone the parent, document the incident, and set the consequence. The end of the year is a time to be efficient, clear, and wrap things up.

But the next day, the student showed up at my door and said quietly, “I didn’t think you’d want to hear my side.”

That stopped me.

I realized I’d solved the problem but missed the person.

In my rush to correct, I’d skipped the curiosity that could have led to real learning for both of us.

As leaders, our power isn’t in reacting perfectly. It’s in what we do after a mistake of our own or someone else’s. When we approach those moments as coaches, not judges, we help others build clarity and confidence in their own thinking.

That day, I asked him, “What do you think was really happening for you in that moment?”

And then I just listened, and his answer revealed more insight about belonging and pressure than any discipline report ever could.

 

📌 Thought Spark:

Mistakes are feedback, not proof of failure. They’re invitations to slow down, listen, and lead with curiosity.

 

Try This:

When a mistake occurs, pause before correcting and get curious:

  • “What do you think was happening for you in that moment?”
  • “What was hardest about that moment for you?
  • “What might help you handle it differently next time?”

 

Your Turn: 

What’s one recent “mistake moment” you could revisit with a coaching mindset instead of a corrective one?